Right on.

Y’see, I was down town the other day & I saw this guy. Y’know there he was, stood there minding his own business and I was like, you cunt! Who do you think you are?! Stood there minding your own business, how dare you!

He was shocked of course, but I’d sussed his game out.

When I called him a cunt, y’know what he did?! His head fell right off. I thought, you fucking fucker. How dare you detach your head in my presence! So I walked away, cock in hand ‘cos well, I didn’t want to be dictated to.

So…

I was having a wank the other day, y’know slapping it about. And the damn thing fell off. It wriggled around for a while, y’know.

Damn cat nicked it. Ran off down the street. Of course, I was shocked, but what could I do.

I had to go get my new cock out of its box y’see, I had a spare in the kitchen cupboard, like ya do; damn thing had gone off. Had to go down the shops, and of course the damn thing was shut. So I had to use a straw & some duct tape to finish my wank. What else could I do? I mean.

“well get your Winkie Wanky Woo over here darling!
- I wish I could, I got it shot off in the first war.
Well fuck off you silly arse puff!”

Brilliant!

Mickey Mouse has a long talk one day with a psychiatrist, after which the psychiatrist interviews Minnie Mouse. A few days later Mickey meets with the psychiatrist, and the following conversation ensues:

Sigmund: I talked with Minnie after talking with you.
Mickey: Oh?
Sigmund: I couldn’t find anything wrong with her — she isn’t insane.
Mickey: Idiot! I didn’t say she was insane — I said she was fuckin’ Goofy.

“If for every rule there is an exception, then we have established that there is an exception to every rule. If we accept “For every rule there is an exception” as a rule, then we must concede that there may not be an exception after all, since the rule states that there is always the possibility of exception, and if we follow it to its logical end we must agree that there can be an exception to the rule that for every rule there is an exception.”
– Bill Boquist