That Damn Glass 0

Jump to later that day. I have bagged the balls and glass wearing rubber gloves and dropped them off at the police station along with all the other information they asked for.

The police would later tell me that they were dog testicles. The fucked up thing is, I don’t have a dog, so someone has gone through the rigmarole of finding a dog, removing his balls, cleaning them off and placing them in a glass on my night stand. They might be Steve’s, he’s my next door neighbours dog, he’s been looking a little depressed recently.

The glass didn’t have any prints on it, so I got that back a few days later. They said that since nothing was missing and no one was hurt, well other then the dog that is, there was nothing they could really do. They said it was probably a prank.

A prank. If they say so, I don’t really know anyone who would go through all that fuss just to freak me out. Plus all the people I know, would know that it takes more then a pair of balls in a glass to give me a scare.

I’m back at home washing the glass for the fifth time and try and get the nerve to pour myself a drink, instead I just put t he glass away and get a cup of tea. I swear there is a funny smell in here.

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You pour the beer & I’ll bring the satire 0

I awaken to the bright sun shining through the gap in the curtains. The light conveniently hits me right in the face. I roll over and all I see is an empty space, nothing unusual. I check my watch to see what time it is. 7am, stay in bed, I hate summer; it always gets light way too early.

I roll over so I am laying on my right side and look over at my bedside cabinet. Looking at where my alarm clock should be, I notice there is a glass filled with water, there is something floating in the water but I cant see it clearly without my glasses.

Rubbing my eyes with one hand I grab my glasses to see what’s in the glass. As my eyes focus I notice that there are two objects in the glass. I then realise what they are, they are what seems to be testicles. Yep, you heard me right. I suppose I should be worried, right? But I am not in any kind of pain and there doesn’t seem to be any blood anywhere, So I assume that they are not mine. In fact the balls in the glass seem to be rather clean.

I did check myself though, just to be on the safe side. Well, everything seems to be fine down there. I’d hate to be the bloke who those belong to. I roll over and try to go back to sleep.

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