When walking into the room for the first time I thought this either had to be the work of a genius or a complete nutjob. I couldn’t work out which part of our number one suspect I was stepping in, but I knew that someone who is capable of stapling one small house cat to four walls with three spoons was more then likely to leave some kind of calling card, these assholes always do; well I was wrong! We searched that hell hole for six fucking hours & found nothing but leftovers that my uncle Jack’s dog wouldn’t even touch.

We’ve done all we can here. We filled our buckets with soylent chutney and went, see if the boys in forensics can make anything of this. Another dead end!

I got a little bored the other week, opened up Notepad wrote some shit, then got distracted and forgot about it. I found it while sorting stuff out on my Storage HDD.

I awoke in what I thought was an apartment building, turns out its one of these motels that charges by the hour and oddly shaped beds.

There’s blood everywhere. There’s a corpse of a woman lying on the bed next to me; well she used to be a woman anyway, she’s also spread all over the floor and walls. I can’t make out her face, there’s nothing really left of it. She looks like someone had tried to take the cigarette out of her mouth from the back of her head, with a vacuum cleaner.

There’s blood everywhere. I’m covered in it, but I can clean myself later. There’s a voice in my head telling me to clean up what’s left of little miss inside out girl.

My first instincts should have been to call the police.

What am I going to do with these damn sheets? Seriously, who the fuck kills someone in a completely white room, why the hell would the owner of this shit hole paint everything white, I bet they didn’t even bother moving the furniture.

There’s a sign on the wall saying “The White Room”, no shit. I guess this is a ‘themed’ room place, the kind of place where you can fuck your girlfriend on the moon if you so choose. I’m still waiting on the middle aged guy in a white coat to sit me down, rub up against my elbow with his crotch and stick is fingers down my throat. I fucking hate dentists.

I found some rubber gloves under the sink in the bathroom; I put all the pieces of her in a pile on the bed. It was like putting together a jigsaw puzzle, only this bitch was so messed up I couldn’t tell if any of the pieces where in the right place.

I know I shouldn’t speak ill of the dead but I did just wake up next to a what seemed to be a real life rendition of a Picasso painting scattered over the majority of this small white motel room. So I apologise if I am a little testy.

Oh, and everyone give some love to my brother Josh for getting me some new RAM and Fallout 3 for my 23rd birthday.

I awaken to the bright sun shining through the gap in the curtains. The light conveniently hits me right in the face. I roll over and all I see is an empty space, nothing unusual. I check my watch to see what time it is. 7am, stay in bed, I hate summer; it always gets light way too early.

I roll over so I am laying on my right side and look over at my bedside cabinet. Looking at where my alarm clock should be, I notice there is a glass filled with water, there is something floating in the water but I cant see it clearly without my glasses.

Rubbing my eyes with one hand I grab my glasses to see what’s in the glass. As my eyes focus I notice that there are two objects in the glass. I then realise what they are, they are what seems to be testicles. Yep, you heard me right. I suppose I should be worried, right? But I am not in any kind of pain and there doesn’t seem to be any blood anywhere, So I assume that they are not mine. In fact the balls in the glass seem to be rather clean.

I did check myself though, just to be on the safe side. Well, everything seems to be fine down there. I’d hate to be the bloke who those belong to. I roll over and try to go back to sleep.

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